Praise: Girls vs. Boys

There has been a lot of research about the effect of praise in parenting.  Generally there is agreement that there are two kinds of praise.  When we praise a child's abilitiy or character (e.g., "smart" or "good"), children take on static labels.  In contrast, when we praise a child's actions (e.g., "working hard" or "being curious"), we help shape the way they respond to future problems.

A recent article in Time Magazine (Good Boy: There’s a Better Way to Praise Your Kids) reviewed a prospective cohort study* that confirmed this result.  What's more, the study found that parents praise boys and girls differently: Boys are more likely than girls to be praised for their actions. Specifically,

"Parents gave boys and girls the same amount of praise, but of the encouragement boys received, 24% was process praise, while girls received only 10% of this type."

Given that praise for actions helps a child respond to challenges with increased effort, and labels do not seem to have this effect, this gender difference strikes me as problematic. And it leaves a big question on the table: What is the source of this difference?

My suspicion is that adults give girls more compliments (e.g., "pretty," "sweet," "kind"), and that these comments crowd out more robust feedback about behavior.  Or do parents tend to intervene more with girls, thereby removing the opportunity to praise actions?  Or do they praise girls' actions just as much, but provide more praise overall?

These questions are something to chew on.  Do you gives the same kinds of praise to boys and girls?


*The original article appears in Child Development (subscription required).